It is now less than 2 weeks until I go to Mexico - 13 more sleeps. It has been pretty intense lately, with report cards and various other tasks due at work before I'm clear to go. And in the last 2 days I got a touch of the stomach flu, with the runs, which threatened to knock all my plans off. There I was with so much to do and I'm sleeping in the evenings, trying to ward off the iffy stomach and eye aches, not to mention anxious thoughts about it all. But perhaps it was necessary to slow down, and take my plans less seriously. All I could do was the simple, "Help me" prayer.Last night cruising the aisles at Superstore, I had the thought, "This is the worst of it, if you can get through this, it'll get better." I recognized that as a helpful thought, keeping things in perspective. And then I remembered the Hero's Journey and read a bit more in it this morning.
In the cycle of the hero's journey, these experiences might be called "The road of trials", which a person must undergo between this world and the other world. Literally, the two worlds are here and Mexico. These trials often happen in groups of 3, and the "hero" often fails at one or more of these trials. (check) I decided my 3 recent "trials" are reports, the flu, and "Getting ready". The last category is a good one in a way. It's all the TONS of advice I've been getting in this last week from teachers who have gone before. Every day my inbox is filled with someone else e-mailing me their bits of advice from when they were there. It's all good, but aftr a while it had the effect of being too much info. How can one brain absorb it all? All the trials have brought out an anxiety and I see I've been more crabby at school.
That's when I'm led back to the thought, again and again, to give it all to God. I've thought, well, God is the one who has called me to this journey in the first place. The very roots or kether of Mexico has been about generosity, abundance, and God's provision and not my limitations as being the last Word. So I was led to remember that if that's what the journey is all about, then I can trust in God to continue to provide. This means letting go of my fears and worries, no easy task. But I am finding that despite myself, "Supernatural aid" (another facet of the journey) is coming through again and again, despite my failures to trust God better in the trials.
What form has this supernatural aid taken? I have better health today. My stomach is better, and I woke up content this morning, not anxious. This is a gift. I realized in retrospect that the thought "This is the worst of it," came from God, as did the thought to reflect on the hero's cycle again. And yesterday in Superstore, as I was standing impatiently behind someone who was walking s-l-o-w-l-y, I caught a smile from a kind Mexican woman (maybe Phillipino) and I felt encouraged to be more patient and be above the rat race. Also, a bit of reading in Naomi Remen's book settled me into the bigger picture of faith as well last night. But most important, I don't feel anxious and I feel encouraged to trust again. God provides for me despite myself.
As a P.S. to this, another stage in the hero cycle which I recognized in myself might be "The Meeting with the Goddess". This is where the other world calls. Things are non-dualistic and harmonized (that's one aspect). I experienced a touch of that in watching the PBS special, "The Incredible Journey of the Butterflies" with Lyle and Joel on Tuesday night. I was struck by a sense of the mystery of the whole monarch story, how such a fragile creature can even make such a journey. The 4000 km. journey to Mexico is unknown to the butterfly (its never made that trip before), and yet it flies, carried by something that scientist's still can't fully figure out. Something mysterious and bigger than itself. Sounds like the gospel to me!
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